To be or not to be..

by decipheringsilence

there are things you just cant get.

dreams that look so real that even the reality seems to fade in comparison. its like im running with my eyes closed. though my body wants to stop and my mind wants to wake me up from my self-created deconstruction but my heart just wont listen. its like i’ll look back every 5km and weep at my own stupidity but then my heart would shout at my uncertainty and ask me to be all optimistic again. i continue running – with nothing but hope lighting my spirits up taking me somewhere. my mind fails to comprehend the motive behind my continuous journey. a journey that began so long ago but has taken me nowhere. my body’s tired with this monotonous routine but my heart wants more. my heart shows all symptoms of masochism. it feels nothing negative.
all it can see is your face gleaming from far far away asking me to take another step and touch it. and yet its only my mind that knows how fake the hope is – how unreachable the goal is – how impractical my dream is – how myth-busting this fact is.

Will i ever give up hope? that is not the question. what i need to ask myself is will i break with a loud thud and a gazillion pieces never to repair? never to believe in second chances? never to live again and hope for truth, sincerity and care.
will i ever be able to reach to one conclusion.